she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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