I cockslap morals
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
