My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
