hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
