Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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