bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Less talking, more tequila
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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