you mean i was at the winter classic?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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