already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
