dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
