is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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