you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
