no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
