i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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