Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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