Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
