The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize