yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize