feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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