Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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