This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
