Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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