i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
