I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Damn victory sex feels great
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
