He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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