Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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