FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
