That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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