i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
