Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
