Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's like iHOP with fire
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Green mimosas i think yes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
