I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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