My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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