Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
