i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
