Define "chronic" masturbator.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize