are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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