hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
