Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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