saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
