just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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