BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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