Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
