were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
