dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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