Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
