I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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