No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
