he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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