it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
