Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
