Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its about making memories worth repressing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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