It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
