it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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