Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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