I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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