Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I supernannyed him into submission
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
