you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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