I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
