you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
