He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
