we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you made out with another girl for some wings
is it fun? or sober?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
