Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
