I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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