If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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