so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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